AITA if I don’t watch my friends son anymore?

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

AITA for Stopping Babysitting My Friend’s Son?

When a young woman agrees to help a friend by babysitting her son, she quickly finds herself in over her head as her friend’s family dynamics spiral out of control. After juggling work-from-home responsibilities and unexpected illnesses, she learns that her friend’s husband has been less than honest about their childcare situation. As tensions rise and her fiancé’s job is affected by the friend’s husband’s antics, she must decide whether to continue her commitment or prioritize her own well-being. This relatable tale highlights the complexities of friendship, boundaries, and the challenges of navigating adult responsibilities in a tight-knit community.

AITA for No Longer Watching My Friend’s Son?

In this situation, a 24-year-old woman is grappling with the decision to stop babysitting her friend’s son due to escalating family drama and wedding tension. Here’s a breakdown of the events leading to her dilemma:

Background: The woman works from home and has been friends with a 38-year-old mother since they met at a work Christmas party. Initially, she helped babysit the friend’s son without expecting payment.
Friend’s Family Issues: The friend’s husband has a history of infidelity, but the woman chose to remain supportive and not get involved in the drama.
Job Transition: After losing her job, she found a new work-from-home position. Although she initially continued to babysit, she faced challenges when the child disrupted her work calls.
Increased Demands: In December, the friend called in tears, asking for help as her husband was laid off. The woman agreed to watch the child a few days a week, but soon learned that the daycare had been canceled entirely.
Health Concerns: The friend’s son was dropped off sick with RSV, which the woman was not informed about until after the child was already there. Shortly after, the woman fell ill herself.
Conflict with the Husband: The friend’s husband failed to pick up their son as promised, opting instead to go to a golf simulator. This led to tension between the woman and her fiancé, who was frustrated by the situation.
Miscommunication: The friend later texted the woman, laughing about the child needing a nap, which further upset her fiancé, who felt taken advantage of.
Workplace Drama: The fiancé lost out on a significant pay opportunity due to being left with inexperienced temporary workers, which he believed was orchestrated by the friend’s husband as a petty retaliation for not attending a social event.
Final Decision: The woman feels uncomfortable with the ongoing situation and is considering stopping babysitting before the end of January, as originally agreed.

In summary, the woman is caught in a web of family drama and conflict resolution, leading her to question whether she is in the wrong for wanting to prioritize her own well-being and that of her fiancé over her friend’s expectations. The situation raises important questions about boundaries, support, and the complexities of friendship amidst personal challenges.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

AITA for no longer watching my friend’s son?

To start off, I work from home. I am 24 years old, and my fiancé is 27, and we do well for ourselves.

I met my friend, who is 38, at my fiancé’s work Christmas party. We hit it off, talking and hanging out. Everything was fine.

At one point, not long after we became friends, I lost my job and wasn’t in a rush to find a new one; I wanted to take my time. She had asked me to watch her son here and there, and I would accept; it was not a big deal. He’s adorable. If I had kids, I would hope someone would help me, kind of thing.

I never asked to get paid, and she never offered it. It just wasn’t necessary. Her husband has some issues and has frequently been unfaithful to her.

I had heard rumors about her but chose to ignore them; she seemed great, so I never concerned myself with the rumors and drama. Not my circus, not my monkeys. She seemed happy; that’s what I care about.

Fast forward four months, and I get a job. It’s work from home. She’s excited that I can still watch her son.

I make it work; no biggie. Well, it was a biggie, as I got in trouble because he started yelling in the background of a call. I got in trouble, calmly explained I couldn’t watch him anymore, and she still would try and call last minute to get me to take him, and I just had to say no.

Fast forward two months of not watching him; we really don’t hang out, and she doesn’t reach out to me or anything like that. We hit the end of December, and she calls me in tears. Her husband, who works at the same place my fiancé does, got laid off for a couple of weeks.

Their part-time daycare was $300 for a week. As they couldn’t afford it with her husband being off of work, they asked if I could watch him a couple of times a week, two or three days, just for the month of January. Everything is fine; I’m making it work; my fiancé is helping with him when he gets out.

It’s what you do for a friend, you know? They were putting him back in daycare; it was fine. WRONG. I am informed they canceled daycare altogether and are telling people I’m watching him full time.

The first strike was she dropped him off, and when he was napping, I noticed he was breathing weird and had a stuffy nose and would only contact nap. I called her right away; she said, “Yeah, I forgot to mention we were super sick this weekend; he has RSV.”

The next day, I’m not feeling well; a day after, I have a fever of 101. She calls me, and she’s like, “You don’t sound too good.” I tell her I have a fever.

She said, “Well, you can still watch him today, right?” I guess bring him over. The same day, she says her husband will pick him up because I had a meeting at 1. That’s fine because he works the same job as my fiancé.

They will be home by 12:30, so my fiancé gets home, and I say her husband should be here to get their son. My fiancé says nope, and her husband read the text out loud from my friend saying that he needed to pick their son up and then proceeded to say nope, he’s going to the golf simulator, and she can get him when she’s done.

So my fiancé is livid, and he had the audacity to tell my fiancé not to mention it to me at all. I texted my friend to let her know my fiancé is home and her husband still isn’t here. She apologized and said she’s on her way.

Nope, she went to Walmart and Sam’s Club. She picks him up while I’m in the meeting, and my fiancé is watching him; she texts me later laughing, saying he had a headache and went home for a nap.

That Sunday, there was a group of coworkers from my fiancé’s job that were going to a wine place as a group. We were invited, but the day before, my fiancé got a fever, and we weren’t 100% sure day drinking was going to help. I texted the night before to let everyone know; they responded, “No biggie.”

The next day, all of my fiancé’s friends jumped off the job they all worked on and left him with temps and didn’t tell him at all. I have no idea. My friend calls me, mentions me watching her son the following day, and says, “Is your fiancé home yet?”

I said, “Nope, it’s weird; he normally is by now,” and her husband is laughing in the background, saying he won’t be done for hours. And my friend says, “Well, you guys were just so sick that you couldn’t come on Sunday; we figured he wouldn’t be there anyway.”

I brushed it off, called my fiancé, and explained the phone call. He is livid. Absolutely livid.

Because he lost out on $500 additional pay because of him being stuck with temps, he would have moved to a different site, but they all thought it was funny, and he said it’s petty bullshit and he wants no part of it at all. He said we’re done helping them.

He then informs me they didn’t pause daycare for the month like they told me; they fully canceled it, as they told another coworker there. I feel caught in something I’m uncomfortable with.

AITA if I stop babysitting their kid before the end of January like I originally agreed to?

Disclaimer – the confusion surrounding my fiancé’s job

My fiancé works an incentive-based job; in their line of work, there is a seniority list. My fiancé is higher on that specific list, and this is typically a higher seniority job as it’s paid per vehicle moved, and a certain amount of vehicles moved equals one hour of pay.

When it is a higher seniority crew, they are fluent and able to move far more units in a short amount of time. His crew all works this specific job, and they will message in a group chat if they aren’t coming in or taking a different job that day; no one told him they weren’t coming in, and they intentionally stuck him with temps that didn’t know how to do the job and laughed about it.

So instead of having the job done efficiently, it took 5 hours longer. He declined switching to a different job that morning that offered more money because they had talked in this group chat about everyone being there, and he didn’t want to leave anyone with a temp.

But because we didn’t go to the wine outing on Sunday, my friend’s husband thought it was

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments reveal a strong consensus around the idea that the original poster (OP) is being taken advantage of by people who are not true friends. Users emphasize that OP is acting as a doormat and should stop babysitting for these individuals, as they are using her for free childcare without any reciprocity. Most commenters agree that OP should assert her boundaries and prioritize her well-being by ending this one-sided relationship.

Verdict: YTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

In navigating the complexities of friendship and boundaries, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and clarity. Here are practical steps for both the original poster (OP) and her friend to consider:

For the Original Poster (OP):

Reflect on Your Needs: Take some time to assess your feelings and needs. Acknowledge that your well-being and work-life balance are important. It’s okay to prioritize yourself.
Communicate Openly: Schedule a calm and honest conversation with your friend. Express your feelings about the babysitting situation, focusing on how it has impacted your work and personal life. Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when…”).
Set Clear Boundaries: Clearly outline what you are comfortable with moving forward. If you decide to stop babysitting, communicate this decision respectfully but firmly. You might say, “I can no longer babysit due to my work commitments and personal health.”
Offer Alternatives: If you still want to support your friend, suggest alternative childcare options or resources. This shows that you care while maintaining your boundaries.
Seek Support: Talk to your fiancé about your feelings and decisions. Having his support can help you feel more confident in your choices and reinforce your boundaries.

For the Friend:

Listen and Acknowledge: Be open to hearing OP’s perspective without becoming defensive. Acknowledge the challenges she has faced while babysitting and validate her feelings.
Reflect on Your Actions: Consider how your family dynamics and expectations may have placed undue pressure on OP. Recognize that relying on friends for childcare should be reciprocal and respectful.
Communicate Your Needs: If you are struggling with your current situation, express your needs to OP without assuming she will fulfill them. This can help foster a more balanced friendship.
Explore Other Solutions: Look for alternative childcare options, such as local daycare services or community resources, to alleviate the burden on OP and ensure your child’s needs are met.
Respect Boundaries: If OP decides to stop babysitting, respect her decision. Understand that friendships can evolve, and it’s important to honor each other’s boundaries.

Ultimately, healthy friendships are built on mutual respect and understanding. By addressing the situation with empathy and clear communication, both parties can work towards a resolution that honors their needs and strengthens their relationship.