AITA for asking a guest to not crochet at my bachelorette party?

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When Crochet Meets a Bachelorette Party: A Tension-Filled Weekend

As a bride-to-be, the author excitedly planned her bachelorette getaway, inviting friends and family to celebrate her upcoming nuptials. However, the trip took an unexpected turn when her brother’s girlfriend, who she barely knew, insisted on crocheting during every group activity, from wine tastings to museum tours. This clash of priorities left the bride feeling disrespected and questioning her own feelings about the situation, especially as her brother urged her to apologize. The story raises relatable questions about boundaries, group dynamics, and the challenges of accommodating others while trying to enjoy a special occasion.

Wedding Tension: A Bachelorette Party Dilemma

A 28-year-old woman is preparing for her upcoming wedding and recently hosted a bachelorette party that sparked family drama. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

Event Overview:
- Location: Cabin setting for a weekend getaway.
- Attendees: Three bridesmaids and several friends, including her brother’s girlfriend.
Brother’s Girlfriend:
- Age: 36 years old, in a relationship with her brother (38M) for five months.
- Initially uninvited due to limited acquaintance, but the brother requested her inclusion.
- She had never attended a bachelorette party before, which influenced the decision to invite her.
Conflict During the Trip:
- The girlfriend spent most of the weekend crocheting, even during planned activities.
- When asked to join in on games and events, she expressed that she preferred to crochet instead.
- Her crocheting included a large throw blanket, which she carried to various outings like wine tastings and museum tours.
Concerns Raised:
- The bride felt it was disrespectful for the girlfriend to crochet during group activities.
- She offered the girlfriend the option to stay home if the trip wasn’t her style, but the girlfriend insisted on attending.
- The bride overheard the girlfriend referring to the bachelorette party as a “basic bitch bachelorette,” which added to her frustration.
Aftermath:
- Post-trip, the girlfriend expressed annoyance over being asked to limit her crocheting time.
- The bride’s brother has been urging her to apologize to his girlfriend for the perceived slight.
- The bride is torn between her love for her brother and her feelings about the girlfriend’s behavior during the trip.

The bride is now seeking advice on how to navigate this family conflict and whether she should apologize to her brother’s girlfriend. She feels that the girlfriend’s actions were inappropriate for a bachelorette party and is concerned about the potential impact on her relationship with her brother.

This situation highlights the complexities of family dynamics and conflict resolution, especially in the context of wedding-related events. The bride hopes to find a way to address the issue without causing further tension within the family.

This is Original story from Reddit

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Story

I’m 28F getting married this year, yay! I went on my bachelorette party trip last weekend. The trip was to a cabin-type setting where we all stayed in the same house.

I have three bridesmaids but also invited some friends to come along. Part of the group is my brother’s girlfriend, 36F, and my brother is 38M. They have been together for five months, and she isn’t in the wedding party.

She wasn’t initially invited because I don’t know her well, and they live in another state. However, my brother asked me to invite her as a favor to him. He said that she’s never been invited to a bachelorette and likely never would be; I have no idea why—this is just what he told me—and hoped she could have this experience.

Since people would be paying their own way and the group wasn’t large, I figured, why not? She seemed nice enough. The problem is that during the weekend, she would insist on crocheting all the time, even during our events and games.

When I asked her to participate with us, she said that she took time off for the trip and wanted to make the most of her “vacation” by catching up on her crochet projects. She mentioned that playing games and hanging out with my friends wasn’t “fun” and that she didn’t want to “waste” her days off—all her words, not mine.

To be clear, I don’t care that she wants to crochet in general. Most of our activities ended after dinner anyway, and we’d just hang out in the living room. I just asked her to save the crocheting for at night after the activities.

My issue is that she was taking her crocheting with us to places like wine tasting, brunch, a museum tour, etc. It was super disrespectful in my eyes because she’d insist on coming yet wouldn’t participate in the activity. Honestly, I was bothered that she was crocheting when we were playing bridal games, but at least that was in our living room!

The trip’s over now, but apparently, she was super peeved that I asked to limit her crocheting time. My brother’s been pestering me to apologize to her for ruining her trip. I personally don’t feel like I should because she shouldn’t have come to a bachelorette party if she didn’t want to do bachelorette-y things!

But I also love my brother very much, and I don’t want this to come between us. I’m starting to doubt myself because his girlfriend sounds really annoyed with me. Please help!

Edit

I wanted to add some details in case it helps because I think some people think I’m being a bridezilla.

She was crocheting a throw blanket about the width of my entire arm span. That’s what she was carrying with her to dinner, museums, wineries, etc. It wasn’t some small thing the size of my palm. She also had the materials for the blanket with her—about five balls of yarn? I’m not sure what you’d call it, but each ball was about the size of a cantaloupe.
We gave her the option to stay home. I told her I wouldn’t be offended if this trip wasn’t her style and she wanted to spend it crocheting. But she insisted on coming out with us to every single event.
Even though my brother asked me to bring her, she admitted to me that she wanted to come and that she had asked my brother to ask me.
She doesn’t have social anxiety. She just thought our activities were boring and a waste of her time. I mentioned this in another comment, but I overheard her calling my party a “basic bitch bachelorette,” but I didn’t want to confront her because I didn’t want to cause drama.
My biggest issue isn’t that she wasn’t giving me attention. Please! I’m a grown adult and already thankful for the friends giving me love and joy during the weekend. I just thought it was super rude to crochet such a big project during group activities. She literally brought her blanket to a museum and crocheted during a private tour!

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