WIBTA if I send the messages that I sent to my ex about the abortion of the twins to his best friend?

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When the Past Haunts the Present

After enduring a tumultuous relationship marked by infidelity and abuse, a woman finds herself facing a life-altering decision about her pregnancy. As she prepares for surgery that could save her life, her ex’s manipulative behavior resurfaces, leaving her grappling with whether to confront him through his best friend. This story raises poignant questions about accountability, the complexities of moving on, and the lengths one might go to reclaim their voice in the face of trauma.

Relatable Struggles: Many can empathize with the challenges of breaking free from toxic relationships.
Thought-Provoking Themes: The narrative explores the impact of past trauma on present decisions, resonating with those who have faced similar dilemmas.

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution Amidst Wedding Tension

A woman finds herself in a tumultuous situation following a painful breakup with her ex-partner. The relationship was marred by infidelity and abuse, leading to significant emotional and physical distress. As she prepares for a critical surgery, she grapples with the complexities of communication and the potential for conflict resolution.

Background: The woman’s ex-partner cheated on her, which led to a miscarriage. Following this, he physically abused her and forced her out of their home while she was pregnant with twins.
Family Involvement: After cutting contact with her ex, he began to harass her family. In response, her family confronted him, revealing his wrongdoings. He then requested to communicate with her regarding the abortion, questioning its legitimacy.
Health Concerns: The woman is facing a life-threatening situation due to her pregnancy, as advised by doctors. She has a hematoma in her brain resulting from past abuse, which adds urgency to her decision-making.
Attempts to Communicate: Despite her efforts to reach out to her ex, he has been unresponsive. She contacted his best friend to relay her need to discuss the babies, but her ex still ignored her messages.
Contemplating Actions: In a moment of frustration, she considers sending her texts detailing the abuse to his best friend, hoping he will read them aloud to her ex. She is conflicted about whether this is appropriate given the sensitive nature of the content.

As she prepares for surgery, she reflects on her choices:

Realization: After receiving advice from others, she acknowledges that unblocking her ex was a mistake. He attempted to manipulate her emotions by suggesting they could be together, which she recognized as mind games.
Decision to Block Again: She ultimately decides to block him once more, prioritizing her well-being and mental health over any potential reconciliation.
Legal Considerations: Post-surgery, she plans to consult a lawyer about pursuing legal action against her ex for the abuse she endured. She expresses concern that if left unchecked, he may harm others in the future.
Protecting Evidence: To safeguard her case, she decides to delete any photos that could identify her or her situation, ensuring her plans remain confidential.

As she prepares for her surgery, she is focused on her health and the steps she needs to take to ensure her safety and well-being moving forward.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

Hello, my ex cheated on me, beat me, and kicked me out of the house while I was carrying his twins. The cheating provoked a past miscarriage for me. I cut contact with him, but he started bothering my family.

My family told him his truths, but he also asked them to unblock him to talk about the abortion to know if I aborted for real. I started the process. Tomorrow, I have the surgery.

I have been trying to call him and contact him all day. He is online; he just purposely ignores my texts. I texted his best friend since they are together and asked him to tell my ex that I need to talk to him about the babies.

He said he told him, but my ex still did not reply. Would I be the asshole to send my texts to his best friend so he can read them out loud to him since they are together? It contains mentions of his beatings and him kicking me out while I was pregnant.

The cheating with the coworker is something his best friend is aware of. I am not sure if it is appropriate. But again, the surgery is tomorrow; I have no time to play ignore or not ignore.

EDIT

Doctors told me I risk my life if I continue this pregnancy. Also, the babies do not come well due to his beatings. Additionally, I have a hematoma in the brain due to him slamming my head against the door of a car, which almost caused me death when I was involved in an accident.

I do not have a choice at this point.

EDIT 2

Okay. You were all right; I did mess up by unblocking him. Instead of saying anything about the surgery, he told me we can be together. Yeah, it’s all mind games.

I blocked him again. I did not send the messages to his friend and blocked him.

EDIT 3

I will go to sleep for the surgery tomorrow. I have decided that I will contact a lawyer to see if we could report in NL as well. If necessary, I will fly to NL for court.

What you have said about him trying to murder me and murdering the babies made me realize that if I let him free, he can do this to other girls! Thanks.

I will delete my pictures of the injuries and the babies in case he recognizes my account or his friends or family, so they don’t know I plan to sue and what I have. Thanks.

UPDATE

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments strongly advise against contacting the individual in question, emphasizing the importance of cutting ties for personal safety and emotional well-being. Many users express concern for the commenter, highlighting the potential dangers of rekindling communication with someone who has previously caused harm. Overall, the consensus is that prioritizing one’s own health and happiness is crucial, and reaching out would likely be detrimental.

Verdict: YTA

Expert Advice for Conflict Resolution

In navigating the complexities of your situation, it’s essential to prioritize your safety and emotional well-being. Here are some practical steps to consider for resolving the conflict while addressing both your needs and the potential for communication with your ex-partner.

For Your Well-Being

Prioritize Your Health: Focus on your upcoming surgery and recovery. Ensure you have a support system in place, whether it’s friends, family, or professionals who can help you through this time.
Seek Professional Support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse. They can provide you with coping strategies and emotional support as you navigate your feelings and decisions.
Legal Consultation: After your surgery, consult with a lawyer about your options regarding the abuse you experienced. Document everything related to your situation, including any communications with your ex, to build a strong case if you choose to pursue legal action.
Maintain Boundaries: Blocking your ex again was a wise decision. Continue to set clear boundaries to protect your mental health. Avoid engaging in any communication that could lead to manipulation or emotional distress.

If You Consider Communication

Assess the Need for Communication: Reflect on why you feel the need to communicate with your ex. Is it for closure, to discuss the babies, or something else? Be honest with yourself about your motivations.
Involve a Mediator: If you believe communication is necessary, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family member or mutual friend, who can facilitate the conversation safely and respectfully.
Prepare for the Conversation: If you decide to reach out, prepare what you want to say in advance. Focus on your needs and feelings without getting drawn into past conflicts or emotional manipulation.
Set Clear Expectations: Communicate your boundaries clearly. Let your ex know what topics are off-limits and what you expect from the conversation. This can help prevent misunderstandings and emotional turmoil.

Moving Forward

Ultimately, your safety and mental health should be your top priorities. Whether you choose to communicate with your ex or not, ensure that your decisions align with your well-being and long-term happiness. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who respect your choices and encourage your healing journey.